LOVE ME AGAIN

Why can't I make you love me again? Is my all not enough? I tried to give you all of me. I never left anything for myself, my heart is with you already, you can't just give it back. Might as well throw it away so it dies with this feeling that just won't end. This feeling right now is consuming. What's funny is I'm still here, taking all the stabs, upfront, in my face, through my heart, past my pride. I'm down. I can smell the earth welcoming me, the defeated. The soil is pressing against my lips as if saying 'this is the closest you can get with me.' I'm dragging myself, wounded in my very first battle for love and sanity. Can I stand up and try it again? I would if it's needed. I need you so I must. Now I'm up again, asking you to love me again.

HOME

I'm so confused right now. Should I stop this nonsense or should I keep on waiting? Waiting for you to hold my hand, and take me out of the dark. Save me, walk me home. i can't remember where home is. When you left me my heart was torn into pieces, and so are my senses. Let's go home, lead me. I don't know if you know where is home either, but please hold me, take me with you. We might not know where we are going but I'm sure that anywhere with you is what I call home.

BREAK UP

I never gave you the kind of freedom you want, you asked me thrice, i refused. But you still got what you wanted. You did what you needed to do. Leave me. Was it mine or your fault? It wasn't clear, but what's clear is that's what you want. I should have given you what you want from the start. When you asked for it for the first time i was so afraid that you'll ask it again so I did all I could do to prevent it, but I guess my all wasn't enough, love was not enough, my best wasn't enough, I am not enough. Then my being not enough is as well not enough, I must go cause there's someone new. My world shattered. I was willing to share just to get a little love, so I could live, but 'no' it can't be done. I was released but I did not let go, I stayed, until now. Why? Because I'm crazy. Until when? I have no idea. Stupid? Yes. Right? No. Wrong? No... right?

We're Through 2

Thanks for putting up with me
I know that you know that I don't feel the same intense anymore
Sorry, I’m so sorry
I am very unfair to you

I tried, I made an effort
I've loved you but it's no working
Hope is impossible
We're through.

But then I regret what we can be
A perfect couple, everybody envies
We could have planned to settle
Have my whole life spent with you

Until the end of time
Or yet another lifetime

But we're through.

I don't want to let you hang
So I left the thought just hover my mind
I won't let it go, not out
I won't tell you what I am not sure

I know not now, I don't know when
Until that day i won't say
When that moment comes reality will strike
We'll be together or you're through waiting.

A Letter To My Dreamlover

jan 2007

My love, I can't wait to come home at night
As I wait in vain, I think of you
Clock's ticking, city lights glimmering
My heart thumps hard as I open the frontdoor

I walk upstairs, wanting to retire for the day
I can't wait to lay myself on my bed
I can't wait to doze off and....

.............dream of you

I can't wait to be with you though it's just a dream
'coz that is the only time you are mine
My dream becomes reality
It feels so real, you and I together
Happy, lingering each others touch

But along came the morning light
I don't want to wake up
You are gone, and I'm alone again on my bed
Left with a vivid memory of you

And the reality that you are is just a dream
And that I must go on for another day without you
But I'll be looking forward for the coming of the dusk
I can't wait, night must come soon for me to be with you.