WAT TYM IS IT?

oct.19.2006

Anong petsa na?
Gulo at lito, galit at inis, buwisit at paso
Sunog na ang sigla ng kaluluwa ko
Akala ko "ok" na ang lahat, tapos ganito?

Anong pesta na?
Wala paring direksyon ang buhay ko
nakatayo parin sa gitna ng kakahuyan
Binabato ang santol ngunit 'di masapul.

Anong petsa na?
Nape-pressure na ko
"Diyos ko, help me, help us."
Masakit sa loob, sobra na ito.

Pero ayoko sumuko
Buhay parin ang apoy sa aking puso.

WHO 'ART THOU?

sept.23.2006

MALICIOUS
As if you know me
You can't hold me
You can't touch my soul.

FICTITIOUS
Never did I credited your word
You are unknown, 'till now
Did you even said something true?

CONTROLLER
You're misleading to arrest me
You came to conquer?
I wont let you.

THIEF
As if you've gotten something from me
You can't destroy me
I'm still intact, still priceless

NARCISSISTIC
Too much love for your damned self amuses me
I won't tell you what's real
I know that you know it and it fucking kills you!

PREJUDICED

sept.23.2006

I am prejudiced
It's on my paper, I came from a quiet ship
Never knowing the reality
The world of the damned

It kills me, I feel it, It's like a stab on my chest
I tasted my own blood, a cut in the throat
Heat of fury burns
Consuming, raging!

Do you know me?
I don't know you!
Have you given me consideration?
I never even used my Libra scales on you!

Is this injustice for life?
The norms of society hits me big time
Now I understand
Back then I empathized, now I'm sympathized

How hurting, I can't do anything
A stronghold one can't destroy
Millions can't even raise a voice
Though I know I'm strong, I am weak.

SO NEAR, YET SO FAR

sep.23.2006

All the things that I yearn for are so near, yet so far
Never thought it would feel like this
I never saw this coming
I assumed everything should be fine, that every thing's ok.

But things happen, days seems cloudy
I am hanging
It's so near that I can feel it
Yet so far that I can't see it.

Every day seems I'm going nowhere
Just yesterday my life's on track
I planned every move, done my duties
But what happened, I got derailed.

Many things hover my mind
Gloomy thoughts of dim future
Is there really something in store for me?
I'm worthy, give it to me.

My hands are eager to grab it as it floats in the air
It's like a bird, fluttering, gliding slowly, but i can't reach it.

FALLEN ANGELS

jul.23.2006

Past these streets
On my way home
I see these young flesh
With burnt skin, tarnished
Run as we pass them.

As we halt by the next stoplight
A boy lurked by my window
He stared as I stared
He knocked as I shook my head.

A doomed city of fallen angels
With no choice but to live in vain
Does anyone care?
I’m affected, but do I care?

The engine is running, I can hear and feel it
The children are running, and smiling
The irony of life
Anyways, they’re too young to understand.

There must be something to be done
Is it value system, economic drive?
Or accuse the children’s parents for lack of judgment?
But then, maybe, just sincere care and help would do.

EACH DAY

jul.12.2006

Mornings with you are breathless
As you wake right my very eyes
I see love and worth
That moment I can say I’m blessed.

At noon, as we leave each others arms
I hear you whisper, “I love you.”
Others may say it’s protocol
But that’s all that I need, all that I want.

Each day, I feel love
Each day, I give love
Each day spent with you is a gift
A gift of forever, ever after

Each day, ‘till the end of time.

Afternoon isn’t a delight if I don’t hear your voice
You give life to my very soul
I yearn for you, I do
I’ll wait ‘till dusk to have by my side.

Eve, you are my eve, my star
You complete the stars in the skies
As we touch each other and becomes one
I want to say “I love you”, well that’s for a lifetime.

BELIEVE

jul.12.2006

There are times it seems it’s over
When as if you have no chance
Chance of living your dream
Your sole moment of becoming what you want.

These are the times when hope fails
When momentum crashes
When faith is doubted
And often, believing is impossible.

You’ve got to believe
Believe in yourself
That you can do everything
Everything you’ve dreamed and wanted

Just have faith in yourself
You’ll succeed, if you believe.

Surpassing this struggle is tangible
It’s inside you
You alone can free yourself
If you let faith command, and believe.

ASA

jul.23.2006

Isang pader lang ang pagitan natin…@
Nunit parang magkaibang mundo and ating ginagalawan…#
Mapayapa ka sa iyong buhay…$
Ako nama’y sabik sa iyong pagmamahal…%

@

Kwatro kantos, limang dankal
Ito ang layo mo sa akin
Maaari kitang hawakan kung gusto ko
Ngunit my hadlang, pader ma'y magiba.

#

Sa iyong kapaligira’y musikang ‘di banyaga sa akin
Ngunit ang landas natin ay ‘di magkatugma
Minsan nang nagkabangaan
Pero sa iba’t-ibang direksyon pumatungo.

$

Ang hirap mo namang istorbohin, mailap ka pa
Saka baka ano pang isipin mo, kahit iyon naman ang balak
Hayaan nalang kita, tignan nalang kita
May magagawa ba ako?

%

Ano kaya kung malaman mo, nakaka-kaba
Tanggapin mo kaya? Makinig ka kaya?
Asa lang siguro ako na makuha ka,
O mapasaakin at matutunan ako’y mahalin.

I HEAR YOU PLAY

jul.12.2006

I hear you play just around the corner
I love it when you play, I hide by the corner
I must see you, you mustn’t see me
I see you through the window pane, mirrored by the glass.

When you play my heart starts to jump
I got to hear you, I got to see you
But our eyes mustn’t cross
You must not know, no one has to know.

I dreamt of us together,
You played.
I dreamt of us together,
I sang.

I dreamt of us do these things,
But impossible, we’re apart.

If the stars suddenly chose us to cross path
I won’t tell you I heard you played
I won’t tell you I saw you played
Because you might never, ever, want to play again.

FLY, SOAR

jul.19.2006

V1

When I was young
I always see myself, upon the pedestal
When people cheer
As I come home.

V2

Too many years
I have worked and waited for this moment to come
I am ready
I’ll spread my wings.

C

Fly, soar
Shoot above high to the starry skies

Fly, soar
Find my rightful place among the stars

Fly, soar
And now I’m one of them.

V3

The time has come
The wait is all over now, I’m living my dream
My star’s shining
Bright above all.

Repeat V2, C

B

Nothing can stop this star
It’ll shine, I’ll shine bright, forever.

Repeat C to Fade

WE'RE THROUGH (v.2)

jul.7.2007

Thanks for putting up with me
I know that you know that I don't feel the same intense anymore
Sorry, I’m so sorry
I am very unfair to you

I tried, I made an effort
I've loved you but it's no working
Hope is impossible
We're through.

But then I regret what we can be
A perfect couple, everybody envies
We could have planned to settle
Have my whole life spent with you

Until the end of time
Or yet another lifetime

But we're through.

I don't want to let you hang
So I left the thought just hover my mind
I won't let it go, not out
I won't tell you what I am not sure

I know not now, I don't know when
Until that day i won't say
When that moment comes reality will strike
We'll be together or you're through waiting.

NAGAABANG

jul.22.2006

V1

Sa iyo akoy naghihintay
Masulyapan ang iyong mukha
Marinig ang iyong tinig
Kung maaari lang ay mahagkan ka.

V2
Ngunit itoy hindi maaari
Pangarap kong ikay mali
Paanot, saan maaaring maganap
Ang dasal kong tayong dalawa.

Chorus

Nandiyan ka
Nandito ako
Alam mo kayang nabubuhay ako?
Alam mo kayang ikaw ang buhay ko?

Akoy naghihintay sa wala
Sa imposibleng maganap
Akoy nandito lang
Nag-aabang

V3

Darating kaya ang araw
Kung saay iyong malaman
Ano kaya ang gagawin mo?
Sanay maging tayo.

Repeat Chorus

Coda

Nag-aabang lang, diyan sa tabi-tabi.

WHEREVER YOU ARE

jul.12.2006

Wherever you are
I'm still hoping you'll come

To end all my fears
To wipe all my tears
To help me bear this sorrow
To tel me Its OK.

Wherever you are
Please don't go astray

You're my only hope
You're my soldier
You're the one who can free me
You're my sole key.

Wherever you are
I will be waiting

Never in agony
Never again will I doubt you'll come
Never will my hope fail me
Never again, never ever.

Wherever you are
Ill still be here

Hurry,
Free me,
Hurry
Save me.

WE'RE THROUGH

jun.26.2004

We’re through, I know
But I still feel the same way for you
No matter how hard I try
I just can’t forget you
Just last night, I hardly slept
Thinking about the life we used to have
We even planned to settle down
And have kids of our own
But now those days are gone
You left me all alone
The world we dreamt is over
Now, that we’re through
I still love you
You know that it’s true
We can settle this
Please, I’m really sorry
Believe me
My love for you
Aren’t going to be through
Until after forever.

THE J.I. SONG

apr.8.2004

Have you ever felt loved
And felt bad about yourself at the same time?

That feeling is so confusing…
…consuming.

She said she loves me
But never finds me as an inspiration!
Tells me to love her for all she is,
Which is totally out of the topic.

She must’ve thought I like her,
And she might’ve thought she loves me.

There’s a big difference between love and like…
…imagine telling me that because of me she’s down,
her spirit isn’t up.

Is that love?
I am not setting up standards here,
Nor weighing what she feels for me.

My mind just shuts up the fact
That I may have liked her…
‘coz I don’t, and definitely won’t prosper.
I don’t see a future, and I’m sorry.

I’m not somebody who tries…
…who risks.

And I totally will feel guilty,
If it tried to push a relationship.
It would be totally out of sympathy,
Not like, nor love.

I’m flattered that she feels like that for me.
Of course I do.
But why does it feel like nothing but a
“Hope-it’s-over” feeling.

I don’t know how to handle this
And the way you pushed through with this
Is a turn-off.

I’m really sorry…

I don’t have the heart to hurt you,
That’s the last thing I wanna do.

I don’t have the heart to love you,
Not the way you want me to.

THE LAKE HILL AFFAIR

2002

On the shadows of the oaks,
Splendid bliss between two became one.
Yellow flowers, morning dew,
Held not but cradled.

An afternoon delight it turned,
On the wood-crafted shelter.
Nothing but tea on the table,
Left ‘till near rusty sky.

The glittering orange diamonds,
Are scattered over the lake.
Four-visions remain stapled above,
To the sky, reflected crystals, seem.

Now while lingering each other’s touch,
Oh Luna! As the guidance;
Lying on the green turned grey grass,
Saying vows, happiness –love.

MY PRAYER AT 12TH

nov.4.2003

Living this life is like a burden
Passing the standards is an everyday struggle
“You must do this, not that”
Is my Last Song Syndrome.

When will I feel they care?
They might have, gut it isn’t tangible
To me at least
I wanna know the feeling.

That’s why I’m afraid to love, to trust
To commit, to care or even bother
I might’ve planned my life one-sidedly
That I forgot to include the essentials.

I don’t know where to pick the pieces
It’s all messed up
How will I start? Should I even bother?
Come what may.

Should I hate myself? Have I done this solely?
Can you blame me?
They were all her before me!
And yeah, my mistakes.

I know that we pass by this unwanted road
Several times during our lifetime
I know I can cross this safely
And aware that there’s another road waiting for me.

I bet I’m halfway
I’m starting to have faith
Oh Lord, I wanted you to be there
Are you really out there?

I’m sorry Lord
Just in times like this
We humans don’t know where to hold on to
Just holds on to a faith; of hope and belief

Lord, when I’m already at the other side is there another trial?
Is the road much harder to cross?
We’ll by that time I must be ready
Just guide me oh Lord, like what you are doing right now.

PLUTO

1999

colorless dreams in one emotion
moody skies in boundless harmony
waterfalls that softly breezes
streams that runs roughly
great mountains in one box
two other hills in three corporate lads
headings on irritatingly beautiful wings
blue hall in a mountain full of gold
pile of cards slowly becomes wind
sight of icy-freezing lonely planet
Pluto.

THE DANCE FLOOR

nov.2.2003

Hold up, get closer,
I wanna hear you breathe.
Look up, go down,
And dance with me.
Let’s go the dance floor,
Where the party lights dizzy me.
Where shadows gets their groove,
Where we can get it on.

As the mood gets louder,
We suddenly became alone.
I hear the music, but the people are gone.
Are you feelin’ me?
‘Coz I’m feelin’ you.
Havin’ each other in this dance floor,
Is the best, yet.
Now we’re feelin’ it!

Chill out blued the bar.
We found ourselves blanked by time.
Have we had a fugue, blank states?
Everybody’s just chattin’ now, some have left.
Almost mornin’, but doesn’t feel like it.
We could do this forever, but today’s got to end.
I’ll wait ‘till you ask for us to leave,
And hopin’ tomorrow night you’re free.

LOVE ME AGAIN

Why can't I make you love me again? Is my all not enough? I tried to give you all of me. I never left anything for myself, my heart is with you already, you can't just give it back. Might as well throw it away so it dies with this feeling that just won't end. This feeling right now is consuming. What's funny is I'm still here, taking all the stabs, upfront, in my face, through my heart, past my pride. I'm down. I can smell the earth welcoming me, the defeated. The soil is pressing against my lips as if saying 'this is the closest you can get with me.' I'm dragging myself, wounded in my very first battle for love and sanity. Can I stand up and try it again? I would if it's needed. I need you so I must. Now I'm up again, asking you to love me again.

HOME

I' m so confused right now. Should I stop this nonsense or should I keep on waiting? Waiting for you to hold my hand, and take me out of the dark. Save me, walk me home. i can't remember where home is. When you left me my heart was torn into pieces, and so are my senses. Let's go home, lead me. I don't know if you know where is home either, but please hold me, take me with you. We might not know where we are going but I'm sure that anywhere with you is what I call home.

BREAK UP

I never gave you the kind of freedom you want, you asked me thrice, i refused. But you still got what you wanted. You did what you needed to do. Leave me. Was it mine or your fault? It wasn't clear, but what's clear is that's what you want. I should have given you what you want from the start. When you asked for it for the first time i was so afraid that you'll ask it again so I did all I could do to prevent it, but I guess my all wasn't enough, love was not enough, my best wasn't enough, I am not enough. Then my being not enough is as well not enough, I must go cause there's someone new. My world shattered. I was willing to share just to get a little love, so I could live, but 'no' it can't be done. I was released but I did not let go, I stayed, until now. Why? Because I'm crazy. Until when? I have no idea. Stupid? Yes. Right? No. Wrong? No... right?