I fell in a dug-out.

I fell in the grave I myself shovelled.

without notice i just suddenly, accidentally, stepped onto it.

I thought I wasn't digging deep enough to even engulf half of me, I wasn't even trying.

But the hell it happened!

Darkness blinded me as I dugged out, but then I realized, I'm trapped.

I tried to surface the earth and cry for help, but I thought, I will be saved but the dug-out will be re-soiled, covered, not open, gapped.

That would mean tragedy, since the single soul who delivers the light that ignites my joy could re-coil and shy away in fear and disomfort or disgust.

Levelled actions fuels the virginity of our frat, without malice, pure and simple, no hang-ups and attatchements.

No more, hopefully no less.

So I'll stay in, it musn't hurt, I shouldn't die, I couldn't!

There's no reason at all!

I'll be steady and balanced, controlled and composed.

Then spell out my tantric mantra, 'hope for a possibility, not for a silly dream.'

my holy week prep...

While I was looking at my cellphone's calendar this morning I thought, "I can't wait for Thursday!" Tomorrow is Monday, Cathlab is closed because it's a holiday (Araw ng Kagitingan) so no work for us! Yahoo! But a lot of time for my mind to wander and think, deep. I hate thinking too deep, I have to do something or I should be somewhere. haha! Tuesday and Wednesday is a regular working day for all Cathlab staff this week, the family is complete, kind of looking forward for this as well. Then come Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, holidays! No work and of course no pay. Saturday was declared by our OIC as the whole staff's off this week to compliment the Sunday regular off, thus no work for four consecutive days equals VACATION! The same people from the Anawangin getaway, including me, thought to have another unforgettable experience. Some of our options are Mt. Pulag (Benguet/ Nueva Ecija), Sagada, Cinco Picos (Subic), Gulugod Baboy (Anilao , Batangas) and Pagudpod but after careful calculation of budget and pros and cons we opted for Nagsasa Cove, Zambales, much like Anawangin, where Aetas still resides. Earlier this morning Me and ma'am Chase were planning about this trip, there were eight of us coming, Me, Chase, Welmar, Fhiley, Mitch and her son Matt, MJ and Jon. Chase took liberty of polishing the itinerary, tomorrow we'll take care of bus reservations and the boats. While going on, thru text, with what to eat during our two days and one night stay at the cove a whirlwind of serious emotions flooded about heartaches and false hopes. The next thing you know we where beaming emo quotes. Mga Emotero't Emotera! hehe! Here are some of my quotes:

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, true love never ends." - I think I've read this somewhere.

"When I was younger I was so excited to be in-love, then it came. Now, all I know is I'm afraid to fall."

"Love hurts, it pierces us so deep that as we dug to see how far it scarred our heart we realizes one thing, it changed us."

"Though oftentimes love is hurtful, it is the only thing in this world that doesn't seem to exist but gives life to our very soul."

"Sometimes we ask what have we done wrong to feel this sadness. Most of the time we just did something right, sacrifice."

There it goes and we settled for two kilos of CHICKEN adobo for our breakfast 'coz we'll be taking the early morning trip from Caloocan! Whew! I'll start jotting down all the things that I'll need so I won't cram on Thursday. But wait, where's my board shorts?