My Prayer at 12th

nov.4.2003

Living this life is like a burden.
Passing the standards is an everyday struggle.
“You must do this, not that,”
Is my Last Song Syndrome.

When will I feel they care?
They might have, but it isn’t tangible.
To me at least,
I wanna know the feeling.

That’s why I’m afraid to love, to trust,
To commit, to care or even bother.
I might’ve planned my life one-sidedly
That I forgot to include the essentials.

I don’t know where to pick the pieces.
It’s all messed up.
How will I start? Should I even bother?
Come what may.

Should I hate myself? Have I done this solely?
Can you blame me?
They were all here before me,
And yeah, my mistakes.

I know that we pass by this unwanted road
Several times during our lifetime.
I know I can cross this safely,
And aware that there’s another road waiting for me.

I bet I’m halfway,
I’m starting to have faith.
Oh Lord, I wanted you to be there.
Are you really out there?

I’m sorry Lord,
Just in times like this
We humans don’t know where to hold on to.
Just holds on to a faith; of hope and belief.

Lord, when I’m already at the other side is there another trial?
Is the road much harder to cross?
We’ll by that time I must be ready.
Just guide me oh Lord, like what you are doing right now.